and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
