I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
