she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
