i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
