Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
