I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
