I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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