Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
