Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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