Fuck appropriateness.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
