ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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