That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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