she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
