I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
