for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
His nipple licking is glorious
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