Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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