Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
