he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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