If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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