Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
