If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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