Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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