What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
