Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
it's like iHOP with fire
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
