it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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