You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
