How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
