tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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