I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
