I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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