You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
