Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
