the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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