Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
