There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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