we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
