I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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