dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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