Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
