I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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