Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
