It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize