The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
