i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
My feet surprised me
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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