I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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