Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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