Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize