Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
