Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
