sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
