Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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