i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
