so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
