things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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