Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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