At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
