He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
