Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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