I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize