U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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