Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Randomize
