She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
two words: eviction party
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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