there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
