So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
