Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
