I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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