yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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