Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
