Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
